Navigating Difficult HOAs: Staying Professional Amid Pettiness

Managing a homeowners’ association (HOA) isn’t just about budgets, maintenance, and meetings—it’s about people. And sometimes, those people make the job a true test of patience, empathy, and professionalism. If you’ve ever found yourself facing resident drama, endless complaints, or board members who think they own the moon, you’re not alone.

The Reality: Pettiness and Power Plays

• Petty disputes: From parking spaces to pet policies, minor issues can spiral into major drama.

• “I own the place” syndrome: Some residents or board members act as if their voice should outweigh all others, making collaborative decision-making a challenge.

• Personal attacks: It’s not uncommon for managers to be spoken to rudely or disrespectfully—sometimes by people who would never behave that way in other settings.

Why It Happens

• Shared spaces = shared stress: Living in close quarters can magnify small annoyances.

• Mismatched expectations: Not everyone understands the role of the manager or the boundaries of the board’s authority.

• Lack of transparency: When communication breaks down, suspicion and frustration fill the gap.

Staying Professional When Tested

• Lead with values: Let core values like transparency, personalized attention, and proactive problem-solving guide your responses.

• Don’t take the bait: Respond to disrespect with clarity and calm, focusing on facts and solutions—not emotions.

• Set boundaries: It’s okay to remind residents and board members of appropriate communication standards.

• Document everything: Keep records of all interactions, especially when tensions run high.

Self-Care for Managers

• Find your support circle: Connect with other managers who “get it.”

• Take breaks: Step back when you need to recharge—burnout helps no one.

• Know when to walk away: Sometimes, the healthiest move is to let go of a toxic account.

Final Thoughts

You can’t control every personality, but you can control your own professionalism and peace of mind. Uphold your standards, lean on your values, and remember—sometimes the bravest thing you can do is say “enough.”